It is common to feel like you are on pins and needles in early recovery because your recovering brain is still getting used to not being under the influence of drugs or alcohol. You may find yourself reacting instead of responding to situations in your life. Here are a few tips for responding instead of reacting in early recovery.
1. Pause and Take a Breath
When you’re in recovery, you must be mindful of your reactions to stressful situations. Emotions may get the better of you and react impulsively, but this can often worsen things. When you get in a challenging situation, pausing to take a deep breath can help you stay calm and collected. It helps you think about how you want to respond instead of just reacting emotionally. It also helps to remind you that the other person is probably feeling just as upset, angry, or defensive as we are. By taking a step back and responding calmly and constructively, we can help diffuse the situation and hopefully resolve it positively.
2. Don’t Take Things Personally
During recovery, it is normal to experience a lot of emotions. After all, you are making significant changes in your life and working through issues that you may have been numbing with substances for a long time. However, remember not every situation is about you. Just because someone says something hurtful or doesn’t respond the way you want them to does not mean that you are the bad person or doing something wrong. People often act out of their pain and insecurity, which has nothing to do with you. Instead of taking things personally, try to step back and see the situation from a different perspective. That can help you to respond instead of reacting and maintain your sobriety even in challenging situations.
3. Talk to a Trusted Friend or Sponsor
When we’re in a difficult situation, it can be helpful to talk to someone who will understand and can offer unbiased support. If you don’t feel like you can talk to the person you have the conflict with, talking to a trusted friend or sponsor can help you figure out how to best handle the situation. They can offer valuable insight and perspective that you may not have considered. Additionally, simply talking through the situation can help you see it differently and devise a response plan instead of reacting.
4. Use “I” Statements
In any conflict, it’s important to communicate our feelings and needs without attacking the other person. For example, instead of saying, “You are such a jerk!” we might say, “I’m feeling so hurt and frustrated right now.” When we use “I” statements, we’re more likely to be heard and respected and less likely to end up in a defensive fight. In recovery, it’s especially important to learn how to respond instead of reacting, and using “I” statements is a crucial part of that process. By taking the time to communicate our needs respectfully, we can create relationships built on trust and understanding.
5. Write Down Your Thoughts and Feelings
Writing the thoughts on paper can bring clarity. It can also help you see that your thoughts may not be as rational as you thought. It can also help you see that your thoughts may not be as rational as you thought. From there, you can develop a more positive and constructive response.
6. Take Some Time for Yourself
It is important to remember that you have the power to choose how you react to a situation. Instead of being consumed by negative thoughts, take some time for yourself. Go for a walk, read a book, or watch your favorite movie. Taking time to clear your mind and focus on something positive can help you to see the situation in a new light. Reacting with anxiety or despair will only make the situation worse. Instead, take some time for yourself and react in a way that will benefit your recovery.
Conclusion
Reacting worsens the situation while responding gives us time to think and choose a better course of action. You can remember this by thinking of the acronym “W.A.I.T.” (“why am I talking?”). Asking ourselves this question can help us to pause and think about what we’re about to say or do instead of just reacting impulsively. It can also help us to assess the situation and figure out a better way to handle it. Next time you are in a challenging situation, take a deep breath and remember to wait. Ready to get started? Call us today at 844-844-3463. Our counselors are available 24 hours a day.